Tug of War
by SubjectToDelta
Summary: 1x2x5 This is going to be the funny tale of how Duo gets what he puts his mind to. But above all else, there will come a time and place for a tug of war as well... who will win this tug of war? Or will it be a draw? Read on to find out.
1. Chapter 1

Tug of War

Warnings 'n such - We don't own Gundam Wing *cries*. We do however own all plot bunnies that spawned the story itself as well as the story parts that came from said plot bunnies.

Prologue

He dropped a few bucks into the jukebox and settled back into the corner table of his favorite bar. Lighting his cigarette, he snagged his beer and chased a long drag with a gulp of beer. The ember was the only light in the dark corner and stood as a beacon to his presence, but only to the right person, the one who knew to look for him.

Slowly exhaling the deadly smoke, he saw that person enter and go order his drink, collecting it and making his way slowly back toward him. He straightened and took a long drink of his beer, kicking the chair opposite his from under the table without looking. His friend needed no further invitation. The young man stood out sorely in this place, from the relatively neat blonde hair to the white button-up shirt and black slacks.

'_Black slacks?_' he thought, but aloud took the chance to rib his friend. "What, no pink, Kat?"

The blonde flushed slightly, quickly sipping his malt drink to cover it. "We, Trowa and I, have special plans later tonight…so you'd better make this quick," Quatre said briskly.

Duo sighed and then poured out his tale in a rush. It was about his love life, of course. When he was finished, Quatre sat back to think. In spite of himself, he smiled a little. "Well, at least now we know the reasons behind you problems the last time we had this talk."

"You mean when we were talking about how Hilde doesn't- how did you put it- 'do it for me' anymore?" Duo asked.

"Right. And now you've just told me, in detail, about your- ah, problem when you're around Heero."

Duo hid his blush behind his beer bottle. "Uhm, yeah. Not as easy as you made it sound. And could we not broadcast it to the rest of the bar?"

"I think the obvious conclusion would be that you date Heero."

"And the…situation with Wufei?"

"I'm sorry. I was unaware that there was a law that says you can't date them both. Just be sure you're upfront about it," Quatre grinned.

Duo finished his beer and then eyed the empty bottle. "Tell two former terrorists that I want to date them, but not exclusively. I'm going to need a few more of these before that sounds like a good idea."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Let the Game Begin

First thing was first, Duo decided as he toweled himself off quickly. He slid his boxers on and opened the door. A picture of himself with Hilde confronted him. There were many such pictures on the wall. More than facing Heero, or Wufei, hurting Hilde was the part of this whole mess that he dreaded most.

During the war, they had comforted each other, a rare and desperately needed comfort. He still loved her dearly, but he wasn't complete. How he wished he could put all of this mess out of his mind and start the family that he desperately wanted. His heart was drawing him in another direction. More specifically, in two other directions. He simply wasn't happy with Hilde anymore and they had promised each other that no matter what, their happiness came first. He sighed. He was an asshole.

Duo sat on the bed and began his routine of brushing out and then braiding his hair. He was aware the moment Hilde entered the room but he could tell by her soft noises that she was trying to sneak up on him. Like anyone could sneak up on him. He'd made sneaking into an art form. Still, he pretended to be surprised when she slapped him playfully. Then she began speaking to him.

Duo knew Hilde so well that he didn't have to listen to her, but he knew she wanted. She'd been sure that he "overheard" countless conversations with Relena and Dorothy and every other female of her acquaintance about how she wanted a family and how that would all begin when Duo finally proposed and married her.

He wanted to settle down, too, but not with Hilde. His heart belonged somewhere else. Tonight, he had to tell her. He dressed carefully for the evening, already regretting the necessity of hurting her but knowing that, his selfish reasons aside, she deserved someone who would love and take care of her.

"Duo, what's wrong?" Hilde asked. "You're not all here and you look kind of depressed."

"I'm fine," he promised softly. "I just have a lot on mind tonight." He saw immediately that he'd made a poor choice of words because Hilde practically shrieked and became giddy as a school girl. She had obviously drawn the wrong conclusion about what was on his mind. With visible effort, she shoved her excitement down and calmly walked into the closet to put on her slinky black dress.

Duo cringed inwardly when he saw how all-out Hilde had gone for their night out. He could almost kick his own ass right out the door. Duo opened the passenger door of the black Jag he had "acquired" over lunch and then slid behind the wheel and fired it up. Death metal poured out of the speakers and filled his silent void. He couldn't bring himself to speak, worried he would blurt it out right then. He wanted there to be witnesses nearby when he broke the news. He didn't think they would prevent her from shooting his ass on the spot, but at least they'd be able to tell the cops what happened.

Quatre saw the black Jag pull in and something in him tingled. He gave Trowa a look and the two disappeared from sight.

"What is it?" Trowa asked quietly, well used to acting on Quatre's gut first and asking questions later.

"The black Jag," Quatre whispered back. "Someone we know."

The mental light came on and Trowa nodded in understanding. They watched the couple enter the building, the young woman glowing with excitement. That didn't look good. Quatre's frown deepened. How was Duo even affording this place? He wasn't the best with money, after all. As soon as the two were inside, he stepped out of his hiding spot and straightened his vest. "Looks like I'm back on the clock," he sighed.

Trowa smiled a little, already knowing the reply as he pointed out, "You know, you don't have to interfere."

The blonde shrugged. "I like to keep things interesting."

Trowa got back into the driver's seat and as soon as Quatre's door was closed, floored it as fast as a green Volkswagen Beetle could go. "I don't want any part of this."

"Since when are you involved?" Quatre questioned, waving his concern away.

Trowa gave him a small, affectionate smile. "The minute I married you."

Quatre studied his husband's face. "I'm not sure if I should be amused or offended."

Trowa just rolled his shoulders and continued weaving crazily through traffic toward their place of business, content to let his spouse continue to plot someone else's love life.

Duo escorted Hilde to the table and held her chair for her. The waiter quickly came toward them, a smile on his face. "Good evening. Are we celebrating something this evening?"

Hilde's head snapped toward Duo, who cringed inwardly. "Um, we'll see," he replied awkwardly. As he passed the waiter on the way to his seat, he turned his head slightly. "Kill me," he murmured.

Quick understanding dawned and the waiter surreptitiously removed the knife from Hilde's place setting as he poured her a glass of water.

Satisfied that he had done his part in save the hapless man, the waiter dutifully wrote down Hilde's wine choice, a bottle of Riesling Spä tlese. Duo drained his first glass and poured himself another. He needed to relax. The server left him alone with Hilde after one more sympathetic look.

"How did your lunch date go?" Hilde asked.

"Business as usual," he commented dryly. If only she knew. Hilde knew that Duo went to see Quatre once a month to talk. She was under the impression they were catching up on old times or discussing counter-terrorist movements. Never in her wildest imaginings would she guess that it was relationship problems.

"He said that everyone is doing just fine and he's trying to plan a get-together."

Hilde grinned. "If it turns out anything like last time, I'm bringing a video camera for blackmail."

"It wasn't that bad!" Duo protested

Her eyebrows climbed. "Duo, Heero was so drunk he was wearing a lampshade and dancing with the lamp. Wufei was hanging on everyone, telling them that he loved them and that they were pretty. Quatre, evil little blonde that he is, was trying to get an orgy going. And you, my dear, were trying to teach Heero's cat how to play strip poker. How is that not bad?"

Duo thought about this, tapping his finger to his chin. "The cops didn't show up?"

"Yes, they did!" she practically squealed.

His brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Oh. I don't remember," he replied.

"Because you were drunk!" she exclaimed playfully, smiling because her point was proven.

In a moment, the waiter was there, taking their orders and their menus before scurrying away as quickly as possible. He obviously didn't want to be in the line of fire when things went south. Duo leaned back in his chair and his eyes lost their playful gleam. It was time.

"Hilde, the reason I asked you here today is because I have a question for you…"

At that precise moment, _Cat Scratch Fever _began to blare from the phone on his hip. It was Quatre's ring tone. What in the hells did he want? It had to be important if he was interrupting him now.

He held up one finger to Hilde, leaving her in suspense. "Maxwell," he answered. Hilde strained to hear the conversation but the volume was too low. Pouting to show her displeasure at the interruption, she sat back, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What?!" Duo hissed into the phone, the beginnings of panic on his face. "I'm on my way." He flipped the phone closed and yanked his wallet out. He threw some bills on the table, including a generous tip to the waiter for the knife thing. He needed the man to stay on his side, because he would be back.

"Sorry, Hilde," he called, already striding away. "Preventer work!" Because he was looking over his shoulder at her, he didn't see the chair until he tripped over it, which sent him sprawling into a waiter who was serving another table. Duo spun from the crash, disoriented for a moment, and leapt the last table in his path rather than try to figure out a way around it. Then he took off sprinting down the street toward the Jag like the fires of Hell were chasing him.

Duo just barely remembered to turn the Jag off before vaulting out of it once he reached Preventers Headquarters and ran around like a mad man, too distracted by his own worry to note that the few people in the building at that time of evening were calm, even bored.

Without pausing to speak to the desk sergeant, Duo dashed up the stairs and flew into the big conference room. To his surprise, it was dark. He was about to head for Quatre's office when the curtain that covered the big bay windows parted slightly to reveal Quatre, sitting by the head of the conference table. His fingers were laced and in front of his face, hiding the lower half of it.

Duo jumped at a sound behind him, turning to see that it was the thump of Trowa's feet landing on the table. A faintly bored expression on his face, he stuck ear buds in and thumbed through the song selection on his MP3 player for the song he wanted.

Duo frowned, a suspicion beginning to form in his mind. "Quatre, what the hell is going on? You told me that Heero was in trouble!" he sputtered, glaring back and forth between the two of them.

"We were rescuing you from Hilde, weren't we, Trowa?" he asked in a saccharine voice.

Trowa looked up at the sound of his name, glancing from his husband to his friend. Certain that he had Duo's attention he removed the headphones and said, "I am not here. You never saw me. I have no knowledge of any event that may or may not transpire this evening. I claim plausible deniability." This stated, he pushed the buds back into his ears, cranked up the volume, and resumed ignoring the two of them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Duo took Trowa at his word and dismissed him completely. His only goal was to get a hold of the blonde menace. Of course, Trowa would probably step in if Duo actually wrapped his hands around said blonde menace's throat. He settled for crossing his arms over his chest and glaring.**

"**Quatre, in case you have forgotten, you called and told me that Heero was in trouble and needed saving." His eyes glittered dangerously. "So there damn well better be something that Heero needs saving from."**

**Oblivious to the danger he was in, Quatre chuckled to himself. The momentum of it built swiftly and then he couldn't help himself. He let out a deep belly laugh. Finally he composed himself and wiped his eyes. "I was mostly concerned about rescuing you from your own stupidity. The only thing I could say that I knew would get you out of there also caused you to set a land speed record in getting here but that couldn't be helped."**

**Duo pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Then he fished out his pack of cigarettes and lit up right there in the conference room. The fire sprinklers in this room were long since disabled. "If you could have waited for a little while, I would have saved myself."**

**Quatre frowned. "What do you mean "save yourself"?" he asked, using air quotations.**

"**I was just about to break up with her when you called," he growled, disgruntled.**

**Quatre blinked at this announcement. "Then why all the wining and dining? I know you can't afford that place!"**

**Duo took another long drag to keep himself calm. He used the voice reserved for small, slow children as he explained, "I wanted witnesses and a waiter who was smart enough to remove all sharp objects from her immediate reach. Have you ever seen Hilde when she's mad? I would rather take on all of OZ **_**without**_** Deathscythe than her when she's pissed! Why do you think I spend a week with you and Trowa or Heero or Wufei or **_**anybody**_** at the end of the month?"**

**Quatre nodded thoughtfully. "You told me. To get away from Hilde's monthly visitor and ogle hot man flesh."**

**Duo nodded emphatically. He put the cigarette out in the nearest planter and pocketed the filter. One nasty habit did not make a litter bug out of him. "Honestly, don't you ever cry wolf again unless it is a real emergency." He stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned away, readying himself to go home and face Hilde's wrath. Duo shuddered at the thought.**

"**Duo, wait. I didn't completely lie. Before you go home, I do need for you to rescue Heero."**

**Damn him. It was just enough bait to get the fish on the hook. Against his better judgment, Duo turned on his heel, his brows knit in confusion. "I thought you were saving me from my own stupidity?"**

"**Heero needs a similar rescue," Quatre stated, smiling a bit.**

**Duo sighed, tired of the mind games Quatre played. Not that it was going to change. "What aren't you saying yet?"**

"**Well, you know how Heero denies any attraction to any variety of male-type.."**

**Duo nodded impatiently at this.**

"**Relena nagged and nagged and nagged and nagged and so on and so forth and bought his tux and sent flowers and the whole bit. Now, his own stupidity is holding him hostage, without ransom, at her latest ball."**

**Duo's eyes narrowed and his arms again crossed over his chest. "Why don't you go get him?"**

"**Heero will kill me if he sees me," came the reply, a little too cheerfully.**

"**He can get in line behind me but you better tell me what you did so I know how big of a piece to leave him."**

"**I might have advised him to at least try one date with Relena before hanging it up. I thought she might stop nagging him…"**

"**Kat, one of these days your own schemes are going to be your undoing," Duo predicted, his voice echoing ominously as he turned again to leave.**

**Heedless of the warning, Quatre jumped from his seat and dashed over to the conference room door to stick his head out. "Does that mean you'll do it?" he called down the hall.**

**He saw Duo flip him the bird and heard a mumbled complaint about needing a tux as Duo headed out the front door. A minute later, the Jag roared down the street in the direction of the ball.**

**Duo once again drove like the fires of Hell were upon him. A quick pit stop in a glorified footlocker that the Preventers called a safe house got him a change of clothes and another at his favorite convenience store got him changed into his new outfit and a case of beer. The clerk raised his eyebrows at the tux when Duo approached the counter to request cigarettes. "Going to prom, are we?"**

"**Yeah, Sparky…prom. To break my buddy free from the clutches of the Pink Harpy of Hell."**

"**Ah. Heero finally gave in, did he?" Sparky chuckled knowingly. "Who knew that even he had a breaking point? Well, good luck and if you really wanna piss the harpy off, grab the Jack flask and drink out of it."**

**Duo clucked his tongue. "I knew there was a reason I liked you," he laughed as paid for everything and picked up the flask on the way out the door.**

**There were no valets around when Duo pulled into the entrance. "Probably off driving some rich guy's car," he muttered. He stuffed the flask into his pocket and a cigarette into his mouth. The case of beer of was tucked under his arm. Then he was ready.**

**As Duo ascended the stairs and pushed open the grand doors, classical music flowed down from the ballroom. He cringed, certain that he was in hell, watching pompous, over-dressed devils promenade around the ballroom floor. As the door closed behind him, he lit his cigarette and began his decent into the devil pack.**

**He put in the extra effort and his chains made a loud, steady clank as he made his way over to a table in the back. Many glares and eyes followed him, the fact of which his was both acutely aware and spectacularly indifferent. When a few began to make their way toward them, he stole Heero's patented death glare and they split. They didn't look his way again. **

**Duo sipped from the flask. The other former pilots would have laughed at him and gone about their business. These civilians probably thought he was just trying to be offensive but they didn't know any better. That was just a perk. The truth was, if not for the flask and beer, he'd go nuts, or worse, sleep. Sleep was not a respite for him, but the evil source of nightmares.**

**Turning from those thoughts, he pushed himself up from his seat and made his way up to Heero and Relena. They had been dancing for at least five minutes now. Duo approached from behind Relena and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, 'Lena, babe, I thought you said you would have better music the next time I attended one of these shin-digs?"**

"**That's because I never intended to invite you to another party," Relena replied sweetly, voice dripping with sarcasm.**

**Duo staggered backward and clutched the right side of his chest, looking mightily wounded. "That was a shot to the heart, babe."**

"**Wrong side," she snapped.**

**Duo somehow managed to both grin sheepishly and convey that he had made the error on purpose as he moved his grip to the other side. "Anyway, Lena-sweetie, how long have you been monopolizing everyone's favorite hero?"**

"**We have been dancing for a little while," she replied with wary dignity, trying to figure out what the crazy braided one was plotting.**

"**Then you won't mind if steal him for a little while. Dancing isn't as good as sex but we are in public, after all," Duo sighed with a shrug of his shoulders.**

**Heero flawlessly covered Relena's misstep as she turned first several shades of red and then purple. She made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a groan of embarrassment before stammering what must have been her excusing herself. She ran away as politely as possible to where Dorothy, Sally and Wufei sat, the latter looking astonishingly bored.**

"**Virgins," Duo commented with a disgusted sigh. "There's no living with them."**

"**Um, Duo, I wouldn't be so sure…" Heero began, pausing when Duo shot him a frantic I-don't-want-to-know look. "Not me, baka, but look at how close she's standing to Dorothy."**

**Duo pulled a face. "I'm not sure whether to be relieved or disgusted by that. They're both passable, as girls go, but that much female ego and defective personality in one bed…"**

**Quickly yanking himself away from that line of thought, Duo grabbed hold of Heero and began dancing. "Duo," Heero growled, giving him a look.**

**Being fluent in Heero-glare, Duo replied, "Oh, Blondie sent me to "rescue" you. It's up to you whether you want the help or not though, buddy."**

**Heero's mouth turned up in what, for him, qualified as a smile. "Would it be odd if I said 'please'?"**

**Duo grinned evilly and pulled him closer. "It would…unless you moaned my name afterwards," he teased cheekily.**

"**Is there even a rescue plan?" Heero asked, ignoring the rest.**

**Duo looked affronted. "Of course there is! Just dance a few more songs with me and follow my lead."**

**Duo set about showing the uptight society matrons and prudish senators' daughters that dancing really was just meant to be sex with standing and clothed. Most were too busy being titillated by the sight of the two boys dancing to notice the Chinese man sitting in the corner, equally stimulated, extremely jealous, and certainly no longer bored.**

**Back at HQ, Quatre was staring thoughtfully at the conference room door. "Trowa, do you think Duo is actually going to wear a tux?"**

**Trowa pulled out one of his ear buds when he saw Quatre turn to him expectantly. He gave his spouse a blank stare. "Did you say something, piquaño?"**

"**Duo. In a tux."**

"**Oh," Trowa shrugged. "It's possible." He stood and stretched, then slowly moved toward Quatre with evil intent. "Are you off the clock yet, cher? We haven't had our date yet," he pointed out, trailing his hands down Quatre's arms. "I'm hungry," he murmured, leaning down to nibble on his lover's neck. Quatre sighed and relaxed into Trowa.**

"**I think I'm in the mood for steak. A nice, juicy, rare steak," Trowa mused, rubbing against Quatre, his arousal very evident.**

"**Trowa, are you still talking about food? I don't want food right now." Quatre practically whimpered, going a little weak in the knees.**

"**Are you sure? I'm rather tasty," Trowa promised darkly as he pulled Quatre tighter against him, eliciting a low, aroused moan from the blonde.**

"**Okay, yeah. Hungry," Quatre agreed blindly, his whole concentration on the way Trowa was nipping at his shoulder.**

"**Then it's a good thing I pushed back our reservation while you were waiting for Duo to get here. Let's go."**

**It took Quatre's brain a moment to catch up. "Huh? What? Wait!"**

"**You just said you were hungry and I'm starving so let's go," Trowa smiled serenely.**

"**Trowa. You. Are. Evil." Quatre declared, poking the taller boy in the chest to emphasize his words.**


End file.
